June 13, 2025
Imagine reading this to your mate at the pub…
“In today’s hyper-accelerated, consumer-centric attention economy, agencies must pivot away from static comms ecosystems and reimagine how they cascade ideation through the lens of dynamic stakeholder resonance.”
Or, in normal human speak: “Can we all just start saying what the f**k we actually mean?!”
Honestly.
Welcome to the modern agency paradox.
The more we say, the less we say.Marketing once sold unique dreams and visions. Now, every agency and its dog is selling a variation of "cultural velocity."
For the amount of marketers that sling the word ‘culture’ around, I bet the large majority of them wouldn’t be able to give you a clear definition of the word. Let alone its velocity.
And before you start pointing the finger. Let us fess up. We understand. We bang on about culture just as much (if not more) than other agencies.
But I’d also add… we have our own cultural intelligence unit, a playbook on culture, and a literal ‘expected-o-meter’ for each client to show how they are shaping culture. As we say on our website, decks, training info, posters on the wall… “Culture is Serious Business.”
But it’s not just the misuse of the word ‘culture’ that does my head in. It’s all the unnecessary jargon.
Agencies used to pitch big ideas. Now they pitch “full-funnel omnichannel ecosystems built on modular content architecture, underpinned by a proprietary emotional resonance framework.”
Take this line I found from an agency as an example…
“We didn’t just build a brand campaign, we created a purpose-fueled value engine calibrated to drive consumers at scale.”
Translation: We made an ad.
Even outside the agency world, the jargon virus is spreading. Just look at how Google described the gradient in their logo for their new AI tool, Gemini.
“The vibrant gradient mirrors the ever-evolving nature of the AI, embodying its continuous growth and adaptability".
It’s a gradient.
Wait. Let me repeat that.
A gradient.
I was using them on PowerPoints in my IT classes back in 2009.
Imagine if they had released the logo in a Papyrus font.
“The hand-carved typography pays homage to the timeless wisdom of ancient civilisations, grounding the AI’s boundless innovation in the rich tapestry of human history.”
WAFFLE!
I’m not saying agencies shouldn’t be strategic. Strategy is what stops us from slapping a QR code on a dog and calling it experiential.
But strategy is supposed to clarify, not mystify.
Instead, the marketing world seems to glorify complexity.
You only have to be on LinkedIn for 5 minutes to have consumed your daily dose of waffle.
I can guarantee every single one of you knows your fair share of waffle merchants on LinkedIn.
Unrelated, but while we’re having a rant, why are pitch decks longer than the Lord of the Rings Trilogy?!
Surely, it doesn’t have to be this way?
Some brands still know how to speak and act like humans and I do occasionally see glimmers of hope in the way brands and agencies communicate what they are doing.
But the jargon disease is strong. And it only seems to be growing.
So here’s my proposition:
The next time you’re telling the world what you (or your brand/agency) did, imagine you’re telling your mates at the pub.
I can guarantee they’d rather hear:
“We made an ad about dads crying at footy games. It made people cry too.”
Than:
“We crafted an emotionally-led, multi-platform content strategy designed to recontextualise paternal vulnerability within the framework of contemporary sporting culture, driving both salience and sentiment uplift across key demographics.”
